Oklahoma Bomb Conspirator in Protest Fast (Reuters.com)
Terry Nichols is celebrating Ramaddan early this year. Okay, no he isn't, but he is fasting to protest the lack of fiber in his prison food, as well as an alleged lack of funding for his defense lawyers. I'm all about the right to adequate counsel, but I'm not so sure about the fiber issue. Still, I hope he sets a precedent. If I ever get arrested, I want to be able to demand bacon with every meal.

Have a Nice Hot Cup of Auntie Lois (iGadget.com)
Could someone please explain this to me? It's a real ad for an electric coffee urn that I stumbled upon while shopping for space heaters. I'm sure you'll be as creeped out as I was.

Tourist Jailed for Oral Sex (Reuters/Yahoo.com)
Just when you thought it was safe to spend a romantic evening in Zambia, a German tourist was arrested and convicted for doing just that. Thankfully, the judge recognized that he was a first-time offender and only sentenced him to six years hard labor.

Jewish Tradition Takes Front Seat on Israeli Buses (Reuters/Yahoo.com)
Just when you though that fundamentalist Muslim nutjobs had a monopoly on sexual repression and mysogyny, up pop some fundamentalist Jewish nutjobs. It just goes to show, religious nuts are religious nuts, regardless of the book they happen to read. Well, at least they're not killing abortion doctors.

'Kraut' is not an insult? (Reuters/Yahoo.com)
Apparently the British have decided that Germans don't find the term "Kraut" offensive, even though the Germans don't really agree. In return, the Germans will be reverting back the "light-hearted" name they used to use for Londoners: Targets.

Funeral Sales Reps to Be Banned From Hospitals (Reuters/Yahoo.com)
Filipino funeral peddlers (say that five times fast) have been hanging out in hospitals preying on the relatives of the soon-to-be-croaked. It's now against the law, and it looks like biolators could face bery strict penalties.

Artist Offers Sound of Silence--But Not for a Song (Reuters.com)
In a related story, I've taken up painting. I'll be purchasing blank canvases for $10 and reselling them for $426.

MuslimsAgainstTerrorism.org
The name speaks for itself, and despite a cheesy flash intro (which my link bypasses), it's actually fairly well designed.

Expert says Islam prohibits violence against innocents (The Mercury News)
Yes, this article is more than a month old, but it's still poignant. I met Hamza Yusuf a couple years ago at San Jose State, and I found him to be about as educated as one could be about Islam.

American Says He Swapped E-Mails with Saddam (Reuters / Excite.com)
If I tried this kind of shit, I'd be arrested in ten minutes. Actually, I did exchange a few emails with Saddam, but then he started sending me lame jokes and fake virus warnings, so I blocked his address.

Elian's Old House Opens to Public (Reuters / Yahoo.com)
When I first read this headline, I thought Elian was taking Bob Villa's place on This Old House. Unfortunately, he's not getting his own show, just his own idiotic "mini-museum". I'll be sure to visit it, but only if they sell cigars in the gift shop.

Large candy purchases investigated by FBI (Snopes.com / The Record)
Apparently an "Arab" man had the nerve to purchase large quantity of candy from a New Jersey Costco store just before Halloween. While initial reports claimed that the purchase was made with a fake Costco card, an investigation by the FBI has since shown that the purchase was completely legitimate. Still, don't let your kids go out this Halloween...not because of poisoned candy, but because they annoy the hell out of me.

TV Execs to Help White House in War Effort (Reuters / Excite.com)
Here's just what we need: TV executives and celebrities "helping out with the war effort". As if 99% of television programming isn't nauseatingly whitewashed already, it really needs to be adjusted further to promote "our country's message". I wonder...if America's ratings start to dip, will George W. admit he's a lesbian?

Novel Security Measures (Philadelphia CityPaper.net)
A young man with a novel in his suitcase was kept from boarding a United Airlines flight, and he isn't even an Arab. Travelling soon? Make sure you pick up your copy of Heyduke Lives! by Edward Abbey before your flight, I hear you can't get it from duty free.